Sometimes It's Bittersweet
by xSweetiePiex
Summary: Being a cop, having kids, dealing with memories... sometimes they're all a little bittersweet. How will Elliot Stabler cope? Check out Chapter 2!
1. Chapter 1

**This is a story that takes place in the current season. It is called "Sometimes It's Bittersweet." I've rated it K+ for abuse. **

**I do not own Law & Order:SVU nor any of the characters. I am not making any money off of this... Please don't sue! But you can review! So please do! Wow... that rhymed!**

Smiling sweetly, Kathy inched closer to Elliot, planting a kiss right on his lips. The kiss lingered a few extra seconds and Elliot pulled her closer to himself. She fit perfectly, like a puzzle piece destined for eternity to be next to him. Music gently played from an old record player, and the two danced the night away, snuggled in each other's arms. The children were miles away. Nothing could separate them.

All of a sudden, there was a buzzing. A loud, obnoxious buzzing. Elliot's eyes bolted open. It was a dream. Of course, it was a dream. That's all it ever was. That's all it ever would be… because Kathy left him. She took the kids and left him. She took away his reason to stay alive. His reason to believe in God… his reason for everything. Turning off the alarm, he closed his eyes and tried to get back to the oblivion of sleep for just one more second.

Instead, he swung his legs over the side of the bed they once shared and walked into the bathroom. He saw the razor he used to shave with and instead, for just a second, had another thought on how to use it. He forced himself to think of something else. He glanced at his watch. Today was Saturday… it was his day to see the kids. How could he forget about something that important? He even took the day off work for this. Even though Maureen was in college, he could see Kathleen, Dickie, and Elizabeth.

Elliot finished in the bathroom and made his way to the kitchen. As soon as he was seated, grabbing at a cereal box, he heard the doorbell ring. Before he could even get to the door, his adorable twins were bounding through the door and ran into his arms. Kathleen followed shortly behind them. She donned black "bondage" pants, or so they were called, with a tight black camisole t-shirt. She had pinkstreaks highlighedin her hair. While Elliot was concerned about these unorthodox fashion statements, Kathy said they were "normal" and nothing they should be concerned about. Elliot wrapped his arms around all three of his children.

"I missed you." Elliot told them.

"We missed you too, Dad." Kathleen answered for the group. The twins nodded in agreement.

"Have you eaten yet?" Elliot asked them.

"No!" Elizabeth announced.

"I'm starved." Dickie replied.

"Well, you're just in luck. I just happen to have the world's best collection of cereal with me today…" Elliot began, only interrupted by his cell phone ringing.

"Stabler." Elliot answered.

"Hey, it's me." Olivia spoke to her partner.

"What do you need?" Elliot was slightly annoyed. This was his day off, after all. Even though he knew that a police officer could never be "off," he at least wanted some down time with the kids. Cragen even encouraged it.

"Elliot… we have a vic. 6 year old male. And he won't talk to me."

"What about Fin or Much? Or Cragen?"

"Munch is sick. Fin and Cragen have to appear in court. We need hisstatement or he goes back to his family… to his molester."

Elliot took in a deep breath. "I'll be there in 5."

"Thanks."

Elliot practically slammed his phone shut, which got the attention of his kids, who looked over at him sharply.

"Daddy has to go to work for a little while. Kathleen's in charge." He looked over to Kathleen, who nodded her consent. "I promise, when we get back, we're gonna have fun." He paused. "Okay?"

"Daddy! Why do you have to go to work all the time?" Dickie whined.

"Please…. Stay here!" Elizabeth joined in.

"Hey, we'll have fun!" Kathleen chimed in, trying to help. She knew what kind of work her father did. She knew how it was important that he be there for his victims. But still, her voice had a certain longing that he might change his mind.

The twins kept begging and Elliot, losing his patience with them, quickly got lost in his thoughts. His mind travelled back to when he was just a little bit younger than Dickie and Elizabeth.

He was 7 years old and his dad had promised him that they would go to the park together. Just the two of them. It didn't seem like much, but with 5 brothers and sisters, alone time with parents was nearly impossible. Elliot remembered picking out his favorite blue top and jeans. He got his baseball cap on and raced down the stairs to wait for his dad.

"Daddy?" Little Elliot called his father. "Are you ready to go?"

"I can't. Not today." His father called back to him. "I have work."

"Please, daddy? Why do you have to work all the time?"

"Because I have to put food on the table. Now stop whining."

"But I want to go!"

"Now stop that whining!" His dad yelled. "Before I give you something to whine about!"

When Elliot didn't stop, his father came out of his office and grabbed the ruler from his desk. He promptly raised the ruler over his head and planted it on his upper left thigh with a resounding hiss. Elliot screeched and tried in vain to escape his father's grasp. The swats came faster and faster and covered his backside. When the rulernot longer worked over Elliot's squirming, he resorted toblows.Elliot tasted blood mixed with his tears. When his father was done, Elliot collapsed into a ball on the living room floor...

Tearing himself from the memory, he looked at his kids. Really looked at them. He took in their innocence, their naivety, and their complete trust in him.

Elliot feared his father. He hoped his kids loved him. He didn't want to be remembered as the father who always worked... who beat his kids when things got rough. Instead, he wanted to be remembered as the father who held his kids when they cried and laughed with them when they told jokes... even if they weren't funny.

"I'll be back soon. I promise." Elliot thought of all the promises that his own father made to him. The promises that his own father broke. With a nostalgic smile, he waved goodbye to three of the four loves of his life.

**What do you think? Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next chapter of "Sometimes It's Bittersweet." This chapter focuses on Elliot and his rapport with his vics. Kind of a new spin on this. It's kind of short, but I promise to update soon. But, please review! As always, I don't own Law and Order:SVU and I'm not making any money off of this!**

The whole encounter with his kids… seeing them after so long and then the terrible flashbacks of his own childhoodmade Elliot's stomach do back flips. He wasn't prepared for the wave of emotion that would take over him. Now, **he** was the father. He was no longer the defenseless child, the terrified victim. He had the power over his kids. Even though he would _never_ hurt them, the idea still sent a shiver up his spine. Elliot wondered how his kids perceived him. He wondered if they knew they could tell him anything, that they could trust him with their lives.

Where he grew up, you didn't talk about abuse. You didn't even _call _it abuse. But, what he went through was **definitely** abuse. He had been a cop long enough to know the difference between discipline and abuse.Whipping your kids with your belt because they cried was _not_ discipline. Beating them with rulers, switches, or whatever was around was _not_ discipline. Yet, he had pushed the thoughts of his childhoodso far in the back of his head, even he didn't recognizethem anymore. He finally concluded that that was why he was such a good SVU cop,he could relate to the victims on such a profoundly personal level.Most police officersstay for around 2 years in Special Victims; he stayed for 12 and was still going strong.

Elliot's mind was heavy as he climbed into his car and took off towards the precinct. He barely noticed the time passing by, and before he knew it, the twenty-minute car ride was over. He unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. He took a deep breath. This wasn't going to be easy. But, then again, which case was? None. That was the sad, but unnervingly true, response. No case was easy. No case was a walk in the park.

Upon entering the precinct, Elliot was greeted by his partner.

"Hey, Liv." He walked over to her. "What do we got?" He wanted to get right to work.

"Name's Sammy. His day care administrator reported possible abuse because he was having problems sitting down." Olivia's voice dropped. "But, he clams up when I'm with him."

Elliot shook his head. "Okay. I'll give it a try." Olivia and Elliot walked wordlessly to the door of the children's room. Sammy was kneeling, playing with a red truck. Elliot slipped in the room, unnoticed until he spoke up, "Good choice… red's my favorite color, too."

At the sound of the unknown voice, Sammy jumped up, causing all the trucks to crash together on the foam carpeting.

"Hey, hey… it's okay." Elliot held his hands up. "My name's Elliot." He waited for Sammy to say something. "And you must be Sammy." He concluded when Sammy didn't answer.

The boy nodded and visually relaxed ever so slightly. "Do you like to play with trucks?" Elliot slowly approached Sammy until he was only a few feet from him.

"Yeah." Sammy answered for the first time, surprising Elliot. Sammy's voice was shaky.

"Me too. Do you wanna play?" Elliot answered. Sammy's eyes widened in sudden fear, and he began to sob.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Sammy screamed. His whole body seemed tense. He edged toward the farthest corner and curled up in a ball, until he was crying softly.

"Sammy! Sammy… what's wrong, sweetie?" Elliot was so confused. What was going on? Then it clicked. Going on a whim, he continued. "Sammy? Buddy, who 'plays trucks' with you?"

Sammy looked up at him, his eyes full of fear and hatred. Seeing that kind of look on such a young face made Elliot want to throw up. "Bobby. Bobby plays trucks with me." His voice broke out into sobs.

Knowing full well that "playing trucks" must be what Sammy's molester called the abuse inflicted upon him, Elliot knew he had to tread carefully.

"Hey, shhh, it's okay. Nobody is going to 'play trucks' with you again." Elliot told him. Sammy looked up at Elliot, and for the first time, made eye contact. The boy smiled just a little bit and walked next to the couch Elliot was sitting on. He plopped next to the detective.

Elliot looked at Sammy. They both had the same steely gray/blue eyes. To Elliot, this was just like looking at himself as a child. Scared, shy, and wanting to be a "man." It made his heart break to see Sammy, scared and helpless, not sure of what to do. This kids was only six years old.

"It's gonna be okay, buddy." Elliot spoke gently to the boy.

"So, Bobby's isn't going to find me?" Sammy's words were barely audible.

"No, Bobby won't be able to find you." Elliot wasn't sure of the validity of his words, but that is what Sammy needed to hear. Sammy relaxed and climbed on Elliot's lap. This was unexpected and Elliot slightly flinched. _What is up with this kid?_ Ifthis Bobby manhad molested him, how come he trusted Elliot so much?

One thing was for sure… this was going to be one, interesting case.

**This chapter was more about Elliot at work, but more will come with Elliot and Olivia, and Elliot and his kids, but so far… what do you think? Please review!**


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